Dwyane Wade: My Life as an NBA Superstar Single Dad

 

Photo by Bob Metelus

 

After battling through a sore hip and scoring 23 points in last night’s 112-103 loss to the Mavs, Dwyane Wade and the Heat now find themselves in a do or die situation. But according to Wade’s recent letter on single fatherhood in Newsweek, he knows the true meaning of winning. Recently appointed by President Obama to a new parenting program geared toward encouraging fathers to become more involved in the lives of their children, Wade understands the crucial role that dads play, as he recently fought for, and won full custody of his two boys, 9-year old Zaire, and 4-year old Zion.

 

Here’s the heartfelt letter, titled My Life as an NBA Superstar Single Dad.

 

There are a few words that come to mind when I think about the past couple years of my life: challenging, rewarding, transformative—they roll off the tip of my tongue in an instant. In the span of a year my two good friends LeBron James and Chris Bosh joined me on the Miami Heat, I struggled through a painful, public divorce, and I became the full-time parent to my two young sons, Zaire and Zion.

I’ve had some ups and downs lately, but the memories of the unpleasant times disappear quickly, in part because of moments like the one recently when I was able to surprise my younger son, Zion, at his school with cupcakes for his fourth birthday. It was the day after we’d won the Eastern Conference finals, but that victory couldn’t compare with the huge smile on Zion’s face at that moment. I will never forget it. Bad memories vanish each morning when I walk into both of my sons’ bedrooms to wake them up for school—their laughter gives me all I need to face whatever is happening in my life. Not too long ago, due to custody issues, I wasn’t allowed to see my sons for long periods of time, or was given the chance to see them for only a few hours with no idea of if or when I’d see them again. I can’t describe how trying those days were, fighting for full custody while also working as a professional basketball player nine months of the year. I just knew I wanted to be with my kids.

I was seriously motivated to be a full-time parent for my sons. My mother and father weren’t together when I was a kid growing up in Chicago, and early on my mother fell victim to drug abuse. At 9 years old, I moved in with my father because my mother could no longer care for me. Looking back, I now see so many similarities between my own childhood and that of my sons. My father stepped in when I needed him, and that gave me the chance for a better life. That’s what I’m doing for my boys now.

All children need their fathers, but boys especially need fathers to teach them how to be men. I remember wanting that so badly before I went to live with my dad. I wanted someone to teach me how to tie a tie and walk the walk, things only a man can teach a boy. Of course, back then, I never could have imagined being in the same situation someday with my own kids. My dad and I bumped heads a lot—we were so alike, both of us born competitors. My older son, Zaire, is exactly the same way. We’ll battle on the court when I’m 39 and he’s 19. He’s 9 now, and he’s grown up with basketball. Zion could take it or leave it, which is cool by me.

Today, I constantly tell my dad how much I appreciate what he did for me. I think you really have to become a parent to understand what you will endure to be there for your kids. I could say I was surprised at the criticism I received for traveling from Miami to Chicago so often during the regular season for my custody court cases, but nothing really surprises me anymore. I had a duty to fight to be with my kids, and I did it.

Thankfully, I’ve gotten a lot of support from my mother, sister, and others in taking care of my boys and making their new living arrangements a smooth and happy transition. Going forward, I want my sons to have a healthy relationship with their mother, and that’s something we’re working on. I hope to have a great relationship with her one day too, because I know how much it meant to me to see my parents get along as time went on.

I can’t say what we’ll do for Father’s Day, because since my sons came to live with me about two months ago, every day has been like Father’s Day. I just want people—men, and men of color in particular—to hear my story and know that their children need them and that it’s their responsibility to be there for them. We have to step up as men and do our part. There are no excuses.

 

 

Two thumbs up, D. Wade! ;)

 

7 Responses to Dwyane Wade: My Life as an NBA Superstar Single Dad

  • BlitzAndGlam says:

    Heartwarming!

  • Ass says:

    Nice Blog with Excellent information

  • Wade, I knew I saw something in your face that I liked but didn’t know what? Besides your great athletism, I now know that you are a great person! We need more fathers like you because as you said, children need both parents and especially boys need their father. What a worlds’ difference if we had more dads like you. Keep up the good work and may GOD forever be with you and you loved ones! Sorry for your game lost, but I am a Maverick Fan! (smiles)

  • anne diona says:

    Now,I know you’re not just a brilliant player I admire so much.You are also a great dad to your two sons.You are full of versatility and humility,knowing that you are one of the famous NBA player…
    I admire you very much!I’m an avid filipino fan.Long Live Idol,Let’s go HEAT!Go coach Erik Spoelstra,we are proud of you!

  • A Mother says:

    Dwayne I am glad to know that you are enjoying being at father. I grew up with both of my parents and can’t imagine life without one of them. Also, I once heard a college basketball coach say the greastest gift he could ever give his children was to love their mother. Now that I am grown and married, I can honestly understand this. No, we don’t live in a perfect world, but life is about growing up and making brave choices for the sake ofour children. I don’t know what came between you and your marriage vows, but I hope you let your children know that their mother is the best thing that ever happened to you. As a mother, she has to be feeling an unbearing pain which cannot be relieved without her children. First, she loses her husband and then the children which she carried inside of her for nine months. Yes, boys need their fathers to help them be men but it is a mother’s love that puts all other things into perspective. All I’m saying is in order to receive blessings, you cannot build happiness on some elses sorrow. Regardless of whats happened in the past, children remember everything about their mother. They miss her smile, voice, warmth, and even her tough love. They look for her to appear around the next corner. Everytime your boys miss their mom, they are watching you even closer. You’re right !! Your work is a long way from over. Grandmothers and aunties are special but they don’t take the place of a living mother. Good Luck to you learning to love your ex-wife. She really needs your support.

  • A Mother says:

    Dwayne I am glad to know that you are enjoying being at father. I grew up with both of my parents and can’t imagine life without one of them. Also, I once heard a college basketball coach say the greastest gift he could ever give his children was to love their mother. Now that I am grown and married, I can honestly understand this. No, we don’t live in a perfect world, but life is about growing up and making choices based on the sake of our children. I don’t know what came between you and your marriage vows, but I hope you let your children know that their mother is one of the best things that ever happened to you. As a mother, she has to be feeling an unbearing pain which cannot be relieved without her children. First, she loses her marriage and then the children which she carried inside of her for nine months. Yes, boys need their fathers to help them be men but it is a mother’s love that puts all other things into perspective. All I’m saying is in order to receive blessings, you cannot build happiness on some elses sorrow. Regardless of whats happened in the past, children remember everything about their mother. They miss her smile, touch, care, knowledge, tough love, and the presence of her being the biological woman in their lives (in particularly boys of color). They look for her to appear around the next corner. See, women are born to naturally nurture their children with or without a man. And when someone takes away God’s natural gift to them, it causes an undying grief. Everytime your boys miss their mom, they are watching you even closer. You don’t want your sons to blame you for causing their mother any kind of pain. Especially when she didn’t give them away. You’re right !! Your work is a long way from over. Grandmothers and aunties are special, but they don’t take the place of a living mother. Good Luck to you learning to love your ex-wife. She really needs your support and your boys need you both. I guess you cannot run away from each other when it’s really about the kids. They need both of you. It truly is hard to breakup what God has joined together. It’s called family.

  • Joanna says:

    Keep up the good work, but don’t let your kids spend a lifetime trying to find out what happened to their mother’s love. You may not like it, but this is their MOTHER. If you have custody of your children because of her underlying personal problems, you probably have the resources to try to help her. If her only underlying problem is you, then remember the part you played in her pain. Make sure your kids see you do good by her regardless. This is far from over. Best Wishes To You and Your Family.

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About Ramirra Stackhouse

Ramirra StackhouseI’m Ramirra Stackhouse, wife, mother, and entrepreneur. My husband, Jerry Stackhouse, is a 16 year NBA veteran.
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